Lesson #2: Year Of The Gentleman

Okay so my last lesson wasn't anything special, half of it was anger and a bit of frustration so with this lesson I decided to teach you guys how to be the perfect gentleman and still get ahead.

So I've noticed over the last year or so that guys have simply dropped the ball and they've also lost theirs! The truth is there aren't enough guys like me, yes the conceited bastard is back but frankly I don't care! I see guys playing girls or at least they think they are; guys being cheesy, lame f*cks who still rely on primary school pick-up lines to impress girls; guys disrespecting girls blatantly by lying, cheating, using…I've had enough! So its time to teach you "men" how to man the f*ck up & treat a girl right!

So to start off with…

1) Stop being a douche!
Enough with the "ooh baby you know…" & "girl you look…". If you wanna compliment a girl just do it, don't be a bitch about it! Stop putting up pics with your "fly" shades on, holding a "bottle" in your hand…it's quite pathetic and lame. Stop typing out messages like your phone or pc doesn't have all the letters of the alphabet, you sound like a 2 year old. And stop dressing like you belong in a rap video, its not attractive at all!

2) Respect & Cherish
All a girl wants is your respect & to make her feel special. If you give her the time and understand her then she will give you all her attention. Don't ever mistake her kindness for being easy tho, you will get your ass handed to you! If you're a good looking guy and you don't treat her well, don't think she won't leave your ass for one that isn't that will!

3) The smaller things matter
Go out of your way to be a f*cking gentleman! Hug her like a man, not like she's some hoe you just met; get the door for her; send her a message during the day when she least expects it; do cheesy things (I know I said don't be cheesy but there's a difference between being a cheesy douche and a cheesy gentleman). Stop acting like you don't know her around other girls, show them that she's yours!

4) Dress like your age, Not your shoe size!
It's good to have your own style and have multiple styles but if you're meeting a girl don't dress like you're going to a hip-hop convention. Dress like a man! Wear coats & cardigans and dress shoes; those shirts you own aren't just for work and weddings and the club; your name brand printed t-shirts aren't as cool as you think they are; and lastly stop matching your sneakers with the colour you're wearing.

Okay so I think I've made my point and to sum it all up…
- Dress properly
- Speak proper english
- Respect her
- Give her your attention
- Stop being a f*cking douche!

So until the next lesson…

Oreo's & Hoes

Boy meets Johannesburg

Okay so this is the 1^st of my entries on my experience of being a Durban boy trying to find his way around the City of Gold. I've had my fair share of upsets in South Africa's largest city and done just about everything no other Indian guy has done. I've walked 5km's from the south of the city all the way to the north, been caught in a winter blizzard full of sleet, been followed by strange people, walked through Parktown during peak hours, stood in Bree taxi rank to catch a taxi & even walked from Noord taxi rank all the way to Ghandi Square bus terminal. For this 1^st post I will be going through the landmarks of the city as well as what to avoid and how to navigate through the world's 3^rd most congested city.

 

So to start off with, you should have some knowledge on where each street is. This took me merely 3 days to figure out as I was forced to learn my way around the CBD as it was the barrier between being lost and making it to work safely.

The streets that you will more than likely counter a lot would be Smit, Wolmarans, Rissik, Harrison, Market, Commissioner, Main, Eloff & President. These are some of the roads that will take you almost anywhere within the CBD and you will encounter them more often than not. By foot the best route from north to south is Rissik, not much walking is done from the west to east or vice-versa.

 

If you're not from Johannesburg or are overwhelmed by taking taxis then you will need to know where Ghandi Square is. This is the bus terminal where you would be able to go anywhere in and around Johannesburg. There is an information office for Metro bus and the staff will be able to give you everything you need to find your way around. Ghandi Square can be found near the corners of Main & Eloff or Main & Rissik. This is by far the easiest way to get around however Metro bus can be quite unreliable in terms of bus times.

 

Below are pictures of Bree Station as well as Noord. Noord station, being the aerial view. These are two places you'll want to avoid, Noord in particular as it can be quite dangerous and I have only been brave enough to set foot there once.

 

 

 

If you are planning to travel in Johannesburg as a form of exploration, I suggest that you do go with someone who has been there before or go in a group. No your bipolar tendencies don't count as a group. Try travelling around by bus or car and avoid places such as Parktown as it is incredibly busy and not the best of places to smell or look at, emphasis on the horrid smell.

Hope this has given you some sort of geographical idea of Johannesburg and I will continue with the series soon.

Oreo's & Hoes

1000 apologies

Okay so I'm aware that I haven't posted anything else yet, but just so you guys know...I don't give a f*ck!

Okay maybe I do, but just a little, so here's my P.O.A. for the next week...

So the next series I plan on starting is my series on Johannesburg. This will be a guide to anyone who hasn't been in the CBD or tried to take public transport in and around Johannesburg as well as what's unique about the beautiful (well not so beautiful anymore) city. I truly hope this will encourage some of you to explore this historic city and venture on into the unknown un-phased.

My other series that will be started shortly is that of Aubrey Drake Graham! This series will feature everything from his career, how songs came about, his personal life, his engineers…basically everything. We will then de-construct him as a whole and I will hopefully have a guest blogger to help me with one of the segments. You may or may not know her but she knows her stuff!

I also plan on starting my monthly calender girl post from July so watch this space!

Oreo's & Hoes!

Lesson #1: Nice Guys Finish Last

Okay just so you b*tches know, I had to type out this blog twice, yes 2 times, due to blogger being a little b*tch! But it's all good, I know I'll get loved for this series I've been inspired to start due to recent events. This series will look at the complexity i.e. A Relationship.

So let me run you through a small breakdown of my status…

I'm a single guy, who loves to take walks on the beach, dance in the rain…okay maybe I shouldn't bullshit my way through this, those 2 things are quite embarrassing and frankly makes me sound like one of those desperate guys on a dating site. So let's start that over…so I'm single, I do get chased around by girls, I give most of them the cold shoulder coz they already talk about marriage and that screams psycho, there are few girls that rarely get my attention and I'm pretty sure I've found that one that has blatantly stolen every ounce I have (My attention span is short which is probably the reason). So all in all that's my f*cked up life in terms of dating, in a nutshell. You may argue that I can be a d*ck and let my huge ego get in the way and how conceited I am, BUT I kid you not, when it comes to dating I'm known as a 'Nice Guy'. What is a 'Nice Guy' you may ask? Well let me define it for you…

Nice Guy: adv. A male whom treats a female the way she wants to be treated i.e. In a good manner that minimises disputes and quarrels, in order for her to feel loved and cared for.

You're probably laughing right now saying "You? A 'Nice Guy'?". Well yes I actually am a 'Nice Guy' and it's actually sad at times when I think about it. Why sad? Well let me get to the Lesson at hand…

So you're probably there thinking to yourself "If you're a 'Nice Guy' why would you finish last?". That my friend is a complex and intricate question however, been the intellect that I am, I have an answer…yes really!

Women love Jerks!

This is the very reason why 'Nice Guys' can't get a break, it's because women have become suckers for pain and suffering! So this is rather sad to be a 'Nice Guy' right now coz no matter how hard you try, she will always go for the jerk rather than appreciate what a 'Nice Guy' has to offer.

And if you're wondering what this has to do with me, well let's get to that part. So a 'Nice Guy' is usually a boring guy. Poor personality, very rigid and non-spontaneous. Well I am the opposite of that and if you guessed that the picture on the right of my blog is of me then you'd be right! I'm probably the rarest of all men…a 'Nice Guy' trapped in a jerks body. Laugh it off, get it out of your system. Done? Ok good. So back to the topic…Nice Guys finish last and the world is f*cked up that way, what's a guy to do?!

So the solution…

Don't change who you are to please any woman, be real, be who you are, and if she doesn't see you as the potential boyfriend that is the ideal man that every girl wants then clearly you haven't found a girl with a big enough brain. So it's around 4a.m now, I'm still up working & I've decided that today I shall start drinking at 11 and drown my sorrows.

So until the next lesson which will probably be about some crazy b*tch…

Oreo's & Hoes

Bow down before greatness!

Okay so you guys don't know much about me and that's a good thing! Yes, I said it, it's a good thing! Why you may ask? That's coz you will get to know me through my numerous posts a plan on having. So let us begin with the rules...

RULE #1


This is My blog, emphasis on the word MY, so I will do what pleases me! That means, whatever I say is my own opinion which is usually correct. Big ego? yes its f*ckin' huge!